“A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself – and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is.” -Jim Morrison

The day I stopped eagerly looking at my cell phone for texts from him was the day I was able to truly establish my friendships.

I wouldn’t say growing up I was always the girl with a boyfriend, or always the girl who needed a guy. Looking back now, I wouldn’t agree with myself as easily. As chicks we require attention, we want to be wanted and appreciated. Growing up I would take that attention from whomever I could get it from. Once I was able to feel wanted enough, I’d devote all of my time and energy trying to further the relationship.

I wasn’t always like that, I used to put all of my energy into my girlfriends. I’d get the most excited when a friend would call or I had Friday night plans with my best friend. A lot of that faded when I started to go for guys. I put friendships on the back burner. I made plans with no intention of ever following up, of ever showing up. Before I realized it, I stopped getting those calls. I stopped getting the Thursday night texts about what our plans were for that Friday. I stopped getting an invite, period. Close relationships I had began to feel strained. A normal encounter ended up feeling awkward with forced conversation. And when the guy left, I found myself staring at my contacts list, with no one to call my own best friend.

I think that’s one of my favorite parts about growing up. Looking back and being able to fix the present because you’ve endured the lonely times. You’ve made the mistakes. Now more than ever I’m looking forward to seeing my best friend in class and being able to walk to breakfast or coffee immediately afterwards to catch up. I’m spending time invested in school and doing things that make a difference on my campus. I’m not saying no energy goes into my relationships, but I am saying that most of it does go towards myself and my friends. There’s a time and place to be physically and emotionally invested in someone, but right now it’s about doing things for myself. I still get excited, nervous and emotional over guys. I don’t think that’ll ever change, but I know I’ll never be the Carrie waiting on the Russian on the Upper East side. I’ll never be that girl leaving my three best friends with cold cups of coffee on a Sunday morning, waiting on an arrival that will never transpire. In the end your girlfriends, or your guy friends, are the only thing that is eternal. At the end of the day, they are the only ones who will alwaysbe there.