“We don’t want to turn the safety net into a hammock that lulls able-bodied people into complacency and dependence” -Paul Ryan

So there you are. Laying in bed next to someone you’ve known for a week (no judgments here), a month, maybe even years. This man is someone you’ve decided to share yourself with, physically, maybe even mentally (if you’re into that sort of thing). He rolls over and get’s out of bed to use the restroom. He is wearing purple lulu lemon breifs, and that’s when it dawns on you: he isn’t the one. Now this lulu lemon wearing, perfect-with-parents, shy-but-handsome smile isn’t a complete let down. He takes you to your favorite restaurant every Friday, watches football with you and your family on Sundays. But when you are with Mr. Lulu, he doesn’t ignite your inner desire to grow. He doesn’t test your limits and force you to evolve. He loves you for you and wants you to stay that you, he fell in love with.

Now you may be in a relationship with Mr. Lulu, and not even know it. These types of guys are a lot like those seeds that stick to your socks in the forest. Their little spires grab on to you, usually without you even noticing, and they stay there until you decide to brush them off, or wash your socks. These seedlings of men are just that, hanger-ons. They live to keep you in the safe zone. They like uniformity and routine. Why? Because they’ve been raised on it. Now don’t get me wrong, these guys are good, but thats about as good as it gets: good. Mr. Lulu is great post break-up, when you’re looking for a light connection, or even just for a good time. Do not trick yourself into believing he is it though, because before you know it the moment is good, the years are good, and suddenly your life has amounted to just that, “good”.

Mr. Lulu is safe. Plain and fucking simple: safe.

The safe guy is someone who can get away with a lot for a very long time. He can make you feel desired. He makes you feel loved but only just lovedenough. The problem here is not Mr. Lulu, it’s you. So you watch him strut into your bathroom, and one day it just pisses you off that he’s in there using your toilet paper. In fact, it pisses you off he is wearing purple underwear, (even though you worship the lululemon gods), and it really pushes you over the fucking edge when you watch him walk out of the bathroom, without washing his hands.

So you end it. Or he ends it. Or you mutually end it. After 5 years, 2 months, maybe even just after 1 week. Why? Because Mr. Lulu isn’t your soul mate, soul mates force us out of bed and make us face our demons. If it’s not making you grow or desire to grow, you are just standing still; watching Mr. Lulu walk into your bathroom, and use your fucking toilet paper.