“When she transformed into a butterfly, the caterpillars spoke not of her beauty, but of her weirdness. They wanted her to change back into what she always had been. But she had wings.” –Dean Jackson

No one life is spent perfectly. Each day we are changing, evolving into something bigger than ourselves.

Certain changes come slower than others. Someone may be living a life that appears effortless on the outside, but you have no idea the trials they have overcome to get there. Imagine yourself. You are 5’7 in the 5th grade. Trying to fit in with all of the other girls in school. No one really understands your jokes because you’ve matured so much more quickly than they have. Now imagine being the only girl to not get invited to the big birthday party on a Saturday of your first year of middle school. Shitty, isn’t it?

I spent a majority of my earlier years on the outside. It’s so funny telling this story to the people in my life now because they can’t envision me as a dorky, insecure, awkward 12 year-old girl. But that was my reality. I always struggled to find a good group of friends. I tried to fit in with the girls in school, but they just never wanted to include me. I grew up quickly realizing that I wasn’t important. I would float from group to group, seeing if I fit in with any of the girls’ groups at lunch, but I just couldn’t get in with any of them. I had crushes on guys, who when they found out, quickly turned away from me. I always had one close friend but they were only so close. I was confused, I thought I had a good sense of humor, I liked being around other kids, I just couldn’t find the answer to why I wasn’t being accepted.

Flash forward to fall 2008. My first day of high school. I found out that I was relatively athletic, got my braces off, and opened up to those around me. I fit in. Soon I had everything I had ever wanted, a great group of friends, a boyfriend, and I was on the volleyball team. The girls who had been rude to me evaporated into the 4,000 person student body, and were quickly forgotten. I branched out and showed people the person I really was, and it paid off.

Throughout those four years, my eyes were opened to the trials those around me were facing through the trials I had faced myself. School wasn’t as great for some people, I saw the dorky girl with dirty blonde hair and braces everyday, and I promised myself that I would never treat someone the way I had been treated in the majority of my earlier years.

You never know who someone is capable of becoming, or who they already are, if you are constantly judging the person for what they are on the outside. Some of the coolest people I have met and befriended are people that aren’t necessarily the most popular, athletic or smart individuals, but they are all so special to me because they are unique. I had friends of mine ask me why I would say “hi” to this quiet, freckly boy everyday at school, and I just shook my head and laughed because I had had the most amazing conversation about Zelda with him in history class. They would give me weird looks and keep talking about some guy on the water polo team, and I’d smile because they had no idea what it was like to go through life invisible