“You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.” -Fight Club

Holding back. Can you think of a moment in time when you have been guilty of keeping yourself from something you truly desired? I can.

Growing up, It was just my parents and I. I woke up early with my mom every morning to go to school because she worked and had to drop me off about an hour before my school opened to make it to her job on time. My dad worked insane hours and still does, going to work at 3 in the morning. Getting up at six, as a 7-year-old was normal. I’d watch my mom get ready every morning and as I got older, I mirrored everything she did. At sixteen I’d get up at 6 and fight her for the bathroom, (we had a tiny 2 bedroom single bath apartment at the time) do my hair and pick out my clothes then drive myself to school.

We are all brought up a certain way and what we go through and what we watch as an example is a big part of what molds us into who we become. I loved that my mom woke me up so early as a kid, It made me utilize my early hours and learn how to be punctual. But along with all of the little things my mother taught me growing up, I inherited a lot of her habits and a certain way of thinking.

As I’ve gotten older and gone off on my own, I’ve learned that not everything we’re raised to believe is true. My parents are incredible and have taught me so much about myself, and how to be the best I can, but growing up in such a small family turned me into them. Growing up around anyone for twenty years can make you into those who surround you. It’s amazing to have such influential role models to look up to. But when is it the time to realize that this life is yours and that the way you think, and decisions you are making are holding you back from bigger things?

I recently had a conversation about selfish and unselfish views and how you  make more of one than the other.  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d made a selfish decision, just for me. I grew up constantly wishing to please the other people in my life and when I got to college I realized that a lot of those decisions were effecting my life now, and I wasn’t happy and couldn’t accept some of the outcomes. So the big question is when is it okay to be selfish? When you find yourself with a decision that will alter your way of living, you need to look deep within yourself. Reflecting on what your friends or family will think sometimes needs to not be the priority, which is hard. It’s natural to want to make everyone around you happy, but there comes a point when you have to put yourself first.

It’s never going to be the right time, if you keep waiting around for the right time to fully indulge in something you’ve been waiting to do your entire life, you’re going to wait your entire life to do so. The next time your friend asks you to take a vacation, or you get a job that moves you to a foreign location do it. I’ve watched too many opportunities slip away because I was too afraid to jump. Do things for yourself, it’s one of the most important things you need to do in this lifetime.